(Many days later) I can't paste-in the original first page of the Turtle Riggs Chronicle: Homeless in Hawaii here sadly but the opening line went like this:
A Hole Nu Story
'I think it is a bit unfair and misguided to simply criticize my vagina.'
Listen this is exactly why I write and post the way I do. I couldn’t do bland if I tried, in fact I did try for two yrs at a corporate bs job and almost died!
Now I say fuck traditional and boring, I’m doing things my way. I’m serial publishing my dark romantasy dual pov high stakes novel here on substack, this is just chapter 1
Over the jeans! 🤣 Me too, gurl. ME TOO! Give me some humor… some imperfection… something so human it feels criminal. Everything else has been done to death.
I think that's a job better left for YOU! I double dog dare you to show me an ounce of personality in your brand. 🌭 I'm ready with my pitcher of margaritas.
Ooh, I’m ready to stick my tongue on that lamp post. I love margaritas, but hand made, in a shaker, Contreau over Triple-sec. Love them so much, I almost named one of my daughters Margarita in honor of their role in her conception. (Not sure if I’m showing personality, or just personality disorder.)
Oh fuck, I want a batch. I love that version. And if this is a personality disorder... then I don't know what to call the shit going on with me. 😂 This just sounds like brilliance to me. 🤷♀️
Snort-laughed a few times at this. I have never understood the people who put on a mask every day for work. That always felt exhausting. Made a decision about 30 years ago to just be myself -- slightly more professional than me just being me -- in my work life. Maybe it hurt my career when I was younger, but I've at least remained mostly sane.
Mission accomplished! 😂 It makes me sooo sad. I can’t believe I did it to myself. But we CAN’T go into this AI era with these masks. We’ll literally destroy humanity. I’m not letting that happen. The world needs this feral truth bomb right now more than ever. 🌭
18 years in my career and always tried being someone I wasn’t to stay out of trouble. I’ve been in the HR office more times than i can count. 5 years ago i to just said F it and let the freak weirdo out at work. A 46 year old weirdo just working on computers making autistic noises, doing cartoon voices like Daffy and such…the young Millineals and Gen Z employees don’t know what to make of me even other Gen X and boomers there don’t. I’m having fun though to get through the day
And that is its own kind of wealth... don't let anyone steal those joy hits out of your life again! My crazy will NEVER go back in the boxes provided again. 🌭
I could use a good AOL chat room RN. I’m trying my damnedest but, damn Dre. Called out.
Only with love! And I know you are! 🫶
Career Opportunities is a great movie
How feral is it?
I've never been asked that about a movie before, what are you asking?
Because if it’s not feral enough, I won’t even bother looking it up 😂
Oh it is very feral
This reads like an Eazy-E song
(that’s a compliment)
A HUGE ONE!! I'm in a real deep old school hip hop era right now. That's really crazy that you said that. It's clearly starting to show. 😂
(Many days later) I can't paste-in the original first page of the Turtle Riggs Chronicle: Homeless in Hawaii here sadly but the opening line went like this:
A Hole Nu Story
'I think it is a bit unfair and misguided to simply criticize my vagina.'
Listen this is exactly why I write and post the way I do. I couldn’t do bland if I tried, in fact I did try for two yrs at a corporate bs job and almost died!
Now I say fuck traditional and boring, I’m doing things my way. I’m serial publishing my dark romantasy dual pov high stakes novel here on substack, this is just chapter 1
https://open.substack.com/pub/authorbaewest/p/the-daggers-price-chapter-1-the-auction?r=5vimxb&utm_medium=ios&shareImageVariant=overlay
Couldn’t agree more!! 💃
I'm so over this over-the-jeans approach to content — it adds zero value and is totally forgettable. Let's bring back cvnty content!
Over the jeans! 🤣 Me too, gurl. ME TOO! Give me some humor… some imperfection… something so human it feels criminal. Everything else has been done to death.
Love this, just subbed! 🤘 If you bored by bland content. Girl, my content might make you wet. Intellecutally, I mean 🥂
Thanks!! I’ll definitely check it out. You know I love me the comedy content! 🌭
I don't have $1000 so all I can do is dare you to find one ounce of personality in my brand.
I think that's a job better left for YOU! I double dog dare you to show me an ounce of personality in your brand. 🌭 I'm ready with my pitcher of margaritas.
Ooh, I’m ready to stick my tongue on that lamp post. I love margaritas, but hand made, in a shaker, Contreau over Triple-sec. Love them so much, I almost named one of my daughters Margarita in honor of their role in her conception. (Not sure if I’m showing personality, or just personality disorder.)
Oh fuck, I want a batch. I love that version. And if this is a personality disorder... then I don't know what to call the shit going on with me. 😂 This just sounds like brilliance to me. 🤷♀️
Then let’s just call it drunk and disorderly.
I'm cool with that!
Brilliant post
Awww, thanks sweetie!! 🫶
Little cracks in my shell after this. Fuck!
That's music to my ears!! 🥳 Called out + roasted... with love. Let that weird shit hang out, brotha. Your kindreds will love it!
Snort-laughed a few times at this. I have never understood the people who put on a mask every day for work. That always felt exhausting. Made a decision about 30 years ago to just be myself -- slightly more professional than me just being me -- in my work life. Maybe it hurt my career when I was younger, but I've at least remained mostly sane.
Mission accomplished! 😂 It makes me sooo sad. I can’t believe I did it to myself. But we CAN’T go into this AI era with these masks. We’ll literally destroy humanity. I’m not letting that happen. The world needs this feral truth bomb right now more than ever. 🌭
Live, learn, and carry on. Humanity has been worried about destroying itself since . . . oh, humanity was invented I would guess. :)
But, sadly, we've "advanced' to the point that we could shit our own beds so much we suffocate ourselves.
I couldn't have said it better. 😂
18 years in my career and always tried being someone I wasn’t to stay out of trouble. I’ve been in the HR office more times than i can count. 5 years ago i to just said F it and let the freak weirdo out at work. A 46 year old weirdo just working on computers making autistic noises, doing cartoon voices like Daffy and such…the young Millineals and Gen Z employees don’t know what to make of me even other Gen X and boomers there don’t. I’m having fun though to get through the day
So . . . "noises." I am curious. LOL.
Tried to keep that mystery alive as long as you can!
And that is its own kind of wealth... don't let anyone steal those joy hits out of your life again! My crazy will NEVER go back in the boxes provided again. 🌭
This was epic 🔥
Awww, thanks, sweetie!! I don’t know if I’ve ever had so much fun writing something. 😂
Fuck to the yes to the wow, I didn’t even know those places could tingle like that.
Because we've gone numb. It's time to FEEL AGAIN! 🥳