Toxic Booty Calls, Substack Sapiosexuals, and Billboards That Breed Occasional Sales

Why social media is not a viable growth strategy

Google+ is “the one that got away” for me.

Back in 2012, if I wasn’t in my inbox, that’s where I was.

It’s really the last time I’ve enjoyed a platform.

Not many people were lucky enough to experience it, but it was gloriously easy to find genuine people on it, and connect with them in real ways.

I met so many incredible people that I still call friends + barflies today -

Daniela Uslan

,

Nicole Levac

, Lou Bortone, Rebecca Radice, the list goes on.

Unfortunately, Google was lame, didn’t take care of its platform, and it quickly died, along with Google Hangouts. (Remember those? The pre-Zoom.)

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Then there was my most toxic relationship, Facebook (I launched my private group in 2014).

It (the people + relationships I was building) offered a lot of fulfillment in the early years, but Facebook always annoyed the fuck out of me. It got so bad I had to bookmark a direct link to my group because seeing my feed was just one black hole of burn out + imposter syndrome.

I bent + contorted myself in every way I could to keep trying to make it work, but by 2019, it was a life-hating chore worse than weed-whacking a 5-acre property in 85+° heat (a.k.a. my entire May 2024 😭).

So, I did it for another 3 years. 🤷‍♀️

**she says as she shakes her head in disbelief**

Because who the fuck wants to throw away something (9K social media followers)…

1. You’ve been programmed to see as a look-how-great-I-am “flex” that sells more shit

2. You’ve spent 1000’s of unpaid hours growing + fostering from the ground up

3. You don’t know if you can make the magic again (because the 1000’s of hours of unpaid work is no longer a viable option)

But then, I’m bitch slapped with the reality that is…

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TRUTH: Social media is a billboard, not a viable growth strategy.

The facade is gone. There’s no more hiding behind “connection + community.”

That’s not the core of these platforms (and it never was); they’re about monetization. Monetizing you, me, and every person who wants some time on their billboard. Period.

You want a billboard? You can have it… in all its glory.

But if you don’t want to PAY for it, then don’t expect anyone to see it.

If you’re playing the numbers game, which is what they want us to play, then you need a lot of people to see it.

Honestly, social media hasn’t been a viable growth strategy since before ad platforms were rolled out – which was by design. They couldn’t have hooked us if we had to buy the billboards from the beginning.

Over time, the toxic fumes of BS got to us, and we started confusing growth with occasional sales.

It’s entirely possible to find people who will buy our shit on social media, but can we post billboards day-in + day-out, 365 days a year... for the chance at closing a few sales?

Can we play the algorithm game + sustain being a slave to the content monster without burning out or having life happen so hard we’re lost at sea for months?

It’s not sustainable, it feels gross, and it’s not fostering growth (in ourselves or our businesses) of any kind.

It’s time to accept that we need another plan.

We need to grow, not in the ways we’ve been taught, but in the ways we want to evolve.

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I’ve secretly dated platforms for a long time on the DL; I don’t want any pictures taken or rumors started that connect me with these booty calls.

But no one ever gave me butterflies.

They all felt transactional + soul sucking.

I took one look at TikTok through the window and bailed.

I got to 2nd base a few times with Twitter in the mid-2010’s, when I was partying with out-of-town friends.

I had a 4-or-5-month affair with Instagram Reels in 2020.

And, I valiantly (and I mean, everything I’ve got) tried to make LinkedIn not feel like a torture chamber for years now, but there’s just no fucking way.

Can’t do it!

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It’s super (DUPER) early in my Substack era, but I get butterflies and Google+ vibes when I’m on it.

I’m a card-carrying sapiosexual (someone who’s attracted to intelligence), so I’m obsessed with all the juicy, honest perspectives I’ve found exploring it.

Like,

Jamie Northrup

, who taught me that a minimalist business model is a viable + rewarding model.

Or,

Kate Darracott

, who’s speaking so hard to my newfound “everything is an experiment" life + business approach, that I had no choice but to stalk her down in her paid community (Substack Type Club) and beg her to add a new Geek Out Session to her calendar, so I can partake.

Or, Jaime Buckley, my personal friend, digital adopted girl dad, and one of the best graphic illustrators + family-friendly fantasy adventure writers on the planet, who has kindly taken on the role of my platform wingman, and steered me in the right direction to make this what I want it to be.

I also love that the platform and I have a lot of the same values:

🥰 Great work is valuable and deserves to be rewarded with money

🥰 People should have the power, not platforms

🥰 Readers need to take back their minds

🥰 We need a new economic engine for culture

🥰 Opting for intention over attention

🥰 Marketing doesn’t have to be your mind’s prison

🥰 9 out of every $10 should go to the creator (the genuine version of “we only succeed when you succeed”)

When they say shit like that to me, I melt into a YOU-shaped heap.

I don’t know if it’s going to be “always + forevers,” but I’m taking this dead serious because it’s the first growth strategy that feels really good to use.

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My “hot dog cart” aspirations are to be paid for every word I write – and to have writing be all I do (for 30 hours or less a week, with 8 PAID weeks off a year).

Not copywriting for clients, but pouring MY thoughts, ideas, and rants out (a.k.a. perspectives), making a real damn difference for my kindreds, and getting paid good money for that shit.

I don’t have any interest in complicating it anymore than that!

What I’ve longed for since the Google+ days is a feel-good place to meet genuine people + practice being the Dre I want to be (through writing). I realize that’s what was so special about that platform.

I used to be able to publish on there 5-days a week because I approached it like a group chat amongst my online friends. I didn’t second guess myself the way I do now.

I want that creative freedom back!

I’m not approaching this to “build a list” or “accrue email addresses.” I’m going into this to undo everything I’ve allowed our capitalist system to do to me. It’s not that I don’t want to grow my community or make more money (obviously I do!), but what I want just as much, if not more, is to change my entire approach + intent across the board in my business + life, so it’s easy + fulfilling to achieve the kind of success I want.

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As I unpack all of this internet indoctrination, forgive myself for what I’ve allowed to happen for over a decade, and figure out a NEW plan, I find myself craving a writing habit.

✅ I want a “people place” to actively practice being me more habitually, so I can make this writing career I want a reality

✅ I want a “short form-friendly” platform to make the practice less time-consuming

✅ I want time built into my day to experiment with who I am as a writer, women, human, mom, contributing member of society

✅ I want a way to put back on the “entertainer” muscle mass I lost, starving myself of fun + fulfillment for years

✅ I want my thoughts, ideas, and rants to land on the page without going through a brutal filtration system

✅ I want a place beyond this newsletter where I can share the random thoughts, ideas, and rants that aren’t ready – and may never be ready – for sharing here. Where I can explore + experiment with all the life that happens outside of these emails.

I want a way to actively practice this new way of being ME, which sparked a half-baked idea!

I’ve been trust-falling into Substack’s Notes feature (their version of social media), posting a few times a day, and it’s been really healing. I can feel the ME-shaped habit forming as we speak.

The BIG difference (from all the years of social media posting) is, I’m not approaching Notes as content. It’s just me sharing something on my mind, like a random text I would send my besties.

Notes for me is getting back to the basics — the “group chat with my online friends” feel. The idea of pairing down content or even repurposing content is just not part of the equation for me. It’s about showing up and being so real + honest it kinda hurts.

It’s not easy to just BE and not feel like you need to give the kind of “value” we’ve been conditioned to give, but that’s where the growth and personal freedom happen.

Starting October 1st, I’m firing up The Hot Dog Cart chat and hosting our very first month-long experiment!

THE EXPERIMENT:
What would happen if we spent the month double-dog daring each other to be so honest it kinda hurts?

I propose we find out!

Monday-Thursday, throughout October, I’ll be dropping a new chat thread with a double-dog we can all do on Notes, and then asking everyone to drop a link to their Note, so the rest of us can go shower it with love.

No promotions. No backend offer. No time-consuming commitment.

Just a bunch of hot dog cart-lovin’ fools healing their nervous systems + rebuilding their confidence after years of toxic internet indoctrination.

If this sounds like YOUR kinda cart-sized, kick in the ass, dream come true experiment, and you’re ready to grab this new, simpler, more natural, ordinary, feel good chapter of your life + business in the buns, be a part of this! 🌭🌭

Just click this fancy button 👇 and choose which paid plan makes the most sense for YOU!

I double-dog dare YOU to go to Notes right now, and post something so honest it kinda hurts. Don’t feel like you have to wait for this experiment to kickoff.

I bet if we do this over and over again… it’ll start feeling really freeing to just BE ourselves… and kindreds will start finding us… because they can actually SEE us.

I hope that plants some seeds because this doesn’t have to be as transactional as it has been on social media.

You don’t have to show up with something in hand! You just have to show up… YOU, not content, YOU. 🫶

If not Substack, that’s ok, but YOU need a new plan too!

You want to be paid for your work, not selling a bunch of shit. Let the “billboard truth” of social media be the bitch-slap you need to get serious about your “hot dog cart” aspirations.

Til’ then, find a way to celebrate NOT NEEDING that toxic shit anymore.

You’ve known it + felt it for a long time now, and fought hard (out of survival) to push those instincts down. But it’s ok. You don’t have to do that shit to yourself anymore, and you won’t lose anything you actually want.

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To never being convinced that occasional sales are actual growth, again,

Dre ‘Sitting In A Tree(house), K-I-S-S-I-N-G’ Beltrami