47 Comments
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Sara's avatar

💯 GET IT! I feel like we go through seasons with this stuff. Sometimes I’m full of founder energy and love the challenge of building something, then I get burnt out and just want to do my job, have a laugh with my colleagues and get paid each week. It’s a pendulum - you just ride it 🥰

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

Oh, I'm riding it. I'm gripping on like it's a bucking bronco... and the country club.

Drink + snack breaks included. 🫶

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Miha's avatar

I loved every word. Let's build work that feels like home.

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

Yes, please!! Thanks for the love, sweetie! 🫶

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Barb Pearson's avatar

I applaud you for saying these things out loud! We have been sold such a bill of goods and our biases are so strong that most cannot even recognize it. I stopped posting on Instagram and Facebook, which I found soul sucking, and got my life back. I am working hard to implement the hot dog cart model.

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

Yup, and the “bill of goods” has been overinflated for fucking years. No more! I’m not going back in the box. And I’m not going to pretend that my dream doesn’t evolve by the hour.

Thanks for the love, sweetie. I’m over here rooting you on like a drunk soccer mom with mustard all over her shirt. 🫶

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Shayna Grajo's avatar

I don't know why this reminds me of my newfound joy using my analog calendar, how this is my own f-you and feel-good metric. I love your writing and aversion to funnels. Keep the hot dogs coming, and see you there at the cart.

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

Awwww, thanks, sweetie!!! 🥰 I la la looove that feel-good metric for YOU!! To lighting up the funnels for life. 🫶

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Shayna Grajo's avatar

😂yessss

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Jenn- jscreative's avatar

Interestingly, I’ve had a similar thought percolating for a couple years now… that, if I could just find the right person, I’d love a sidekick for this ride. Yet, I’m torn, because I still love being the founder with the big ideas. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

I get it! I don’t know every factor that’s contributing, but I’m just totally over it. I wanna have the big ideas and get paid for them. I just can’t stomach the thought of it all resting on me anymore.

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Brannan Sirratt's avatar

Just read this out loud, sitting on my neighbor's porch on our "editing commune," while we're half dead from parenting and late bills, but still trying to make lead magnets and figure out how to Show Up.

Your timing is impeccable.

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

I’m telling you… the dreams evolving. We’re all feeling this hard right now. I’m not gonna go hide, so get ready for the realest experience of living and job hunting you’ve ever seen. 😂

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Jacklyn's avatar

Living in real time, as far as I can tell...that's the best way to be in your actual life. Feel. Listen. Monitor and adjust.

Thanks for sharing.

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

Absolutely! Thanks for letting me bend a brain cell.

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Jessica Ann's avatar

Dre, I feel this so much right now. The system is fucked. I’m pretty sure I said that exact statement multiple times today, and then I cried and raged about it. Whatever happened to just being able to work, live, and support a basic existence? I’m not asking for anything super fancy! Instead I’ve over here decided between fixing my car and delaying a drs appt because I don’t have health insurance and maybe giving up on my dream of publishing my book this year, because I might need to go back to working for someone else full-time…sigh. And I know my problems are absolutely privileged first world problems, and so many people are struggling with much worse, while we have billionaires existing with more wealth than we can even understand. 🤬

Thank you for being honest. Thank you for saying the hard things. Thank you for being yourself. I hope you find whatever path you want and it brings you joy, but I hope I don’t lose your wise words on here. Because you are appreciated!!🥰🙏

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

A-fucking-men, gurl!!! All of it. It's going to be a wild next year, but I'm going into this excited, because I'm not fucking around when I say I want life + work to be fun + feel good.

And NO WAY, Substack is the only "business" piece I'm not parting with. I love this place. I LOVE you guys. I LOVE being able to type out loud and have people willing to hold safe space for me. Plus, there's so much shit to laugh about + write about when it comes to searching for a job. I'm so ready to write my way through this!

So, THANK YOU for sharing this love. You have no idea how much I appreciate it! 🫶

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Matthew McKee's avatar

Brilliant piece, Dre. I’m gonna need to read this again and again. Summed what I’ve been feeling for the last few years.

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

I'm sooo glad it's not just me... because me too. And it's been such an evolution to accept this. And not just accept it, but make it ok. I can't go into with a negative attitude, not believing this can be fun + feel good. Not believing my founder is out there.

Have you started looking for your founder, or are you still in the processing phase?

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Matthew McKee's avatar

Still processing, I think. I’ve been a photographer for the last couple of decades, working for a wide variety of industries and companies. It seems like there is a periodic cycle I get caught in where everything is just “faster, cheaper, just do it, be grateful, it’s due yesterday, no I don’t have time for questions, make it cheaper, quality? Nah, just do it.” Then it evens out when I find true collaborations. Great work, reasonable fees, good feedback, appropriate timelines… but the rollercoaster can be exhausting!

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

I get it! I'm here if you ever need an ear to bend. I'm over here rooting you on like a drunk soccer mom with mustard all over her shirt. 🫶

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Matthew McKee's avatar

Ha! I love that image!

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Alexx Hart's avatar

Dang….. I do not blame you wanting to switch positions. Not one bit!!

“And WHEN you break (it is totally when)… you don’t get medical leave. You don’t get reinforcements.”

This. And sooooo…so many others. You just described my skyrocket to dancey stardom and the crash that came—not the moment I got a second TBI…and a third. (That did not help.) It really happened when I had the audacity to speak and write honestly about being in the entertainment industry & martial arts as a female with hidden disabilities. It burst the bubble of this Commodity I was seen as. “Outta the pool with you!!!” So now my hawtdog cart is toothpicks & kindling. (And nope. My IG banning didn’t take nipples. It was cuz I bared my wieners.)🤪

So now I use the toothpicks to roast myself some hotdogs over the flames of my crash zone. Occassionally I get to feed somebody at my campfire in the bushes, and that’s super fun. Dunno what else to do or how long the dying flames will burn but…eh?

In case you dig my dawgs. It’s a one-woman-show, all-crap-dancing, all-singing, all-stinking, rinky-dink mess right now. It probably needs a new name. But I discovered an Elixir of Life. People ask me over and over, “Are you aging backwards?” Yup. Sometimes. I simply have no idea how to make it digestible for anybody but me:

https://open.substack.com/pub/elementalalchemist/p/welcome-to-the-playground

Thank you for always speaking your mind like this, even in—no, especially in its puberty. “Being a quitter” is sometimes the smartest, healthiest, strongest power-move we can make. For everybody. I watch you do this stuff with great curiosity & inspiration.

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

😂 Those wieners will getcha every time!!

I've been collecting kindling for 13 years. I've got enough to power the planet for 6 months. I won't be polite. I won't go quietly. I won't ever let anyone shove me back into a box.

Thank YOU for making me feel so fucking seen... and for getting this crazy mission I'm on. I'm so proud of you for publishing and figuring it out as you go. If you need to quiet something... DO IT... because it is a goddamn power move. I'm not going to let people brainwash us outta our truths anymore. 🫶

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Alexx Hart's avatar

Dang it! No send until I’m done!! Oh yes, I love watching you do your thang because it really does make sense in that ahhhhhhh can breathe way. Outta the box!!!

🤜✨🤛

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

Awww... thanks for saying that, gurl!!! 🥰 It feels so good to finally see how my inability to think differently is my superpower.

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Alexx Hart's avatar

Heck yeah! It has been one of my favorite discoveries!!!

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Alexx Hart's avatar

But the wieners are so tasty!! 🤣

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

I've never seen another human (besides me) use the word bedazzled in an everyday sentence 😁 I knew there was a reason we found each other.

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

I love the word... and I really wanna get some bedazzled Hot Dog Cart swag. 😁

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Kristi Keller 🇨🇦's avatar

I feel like that is your next step.

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Zach Hively's avatar

This whole system is fucked, and you bellow it from the rooftop (or the french fry table) just the way that feels like "THAT. THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO SAY."

The hard part (as fucking always) is the capitalism loop. I (and all of us doing our crazy best) need a Dre. The Dres of the world deserve to be paid immensely well. Figuring out how to bust into that loop and get started with a Dre while supporting her for what she's worth? That's the kicker I know I'm struggling with.

But this all helps to read. You know how to make that frustrated fire inside feel less alone.

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

Dude… you just gave me the most legendary warm + fuzzies!!! 🥹 You’re not alone! We get to say this shit out loud and scream it from highest mountains about our needs. If you ever need an ear to bend, I’m here for it.

Thanks for making me feel so fucking seen, brotha! 🫶

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Dana Walker Inskeep's avatar

Great piece…so relatable. Lmk when you’re ready to edit the book you need to write, I’ve gotchu 😁

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

Awww, you're so sweet!! I will. 🥰

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Awesome piece. Too many great lines to quote. Stream of consciousness that’s been brewing (not in a beer sense). Watch out Kerouac, Dre’s got a runaway hot dog cart. 👏👏

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

😂 And I’ve put jet propellers on the back! It feels good to let this truth outta my heart and into my reality. Thanks for letting stream of consciousness all over the place, gurl!! 🫶

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Good Humor by CK Steefel's avatar

Stream anytime. ❤️

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Marko Schmitt's avatar

Hey Dre - fucking awesome piece. Super good. Love it. Thanks for sharing your process - it sounds like you are facing the real and getting down and soulful about what next. It is a messy awkward WTF state of being that if you can stand it long enough will yield a meaningful new direction. The hotdog stand of your dreams - your soul's calling - the reason why you're here - whatever you want to call it.

A year and a half I broke from a cushy corporate coaching gig and tore apart my whole professional life because I came to the same conclusion you just wrote about. It took a lot of time and patience and coming up with half ass excuses to buy more time from wife, friends, and family who were, you know, "concerned" about what the heck I was doing.

Some of the best work I've done in my life - figuring out who and what I am working for. That changed everything for me - and I am sure it will for you too!

Life is tough, it's tougher when you're stupid. You're on the right road to smart.

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

Yup! I've been tearing apart my life, business, beliefs, you name it for 4 years now. It NEVER ceases to amaze me how many more later there are. I would have never thought half of what I've healed from over the last couple of years were even issues.

Thanks for the encouragement to run towards the smart. 😂

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Marko Schmitt's avatar

You gotta believe in the flow that is guiding you where you gotta go. It’s there, it’s real, and it can be the hardest thing in the world to trust when your ass is on the line, again.

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Liz Reitzig's avatar

Omg. I understand this deeply and to the core.

You do a fantastic job articulating it with all the feelings!

I’ve got my own version of this that’s been rolling over and forming over the past few months….

Damn. You nailed it.

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

Maybe THIS is what we should live about?! I owe you a DM… later today. I just had to sit with this stuff for the last 2 weeks so I have been head down, but I’m ready to trust fall into this shit. 🤗

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Liz Reitzig's avatar

For sure! Oh yeah, I get it about trust falling. Whew. Feels like one constant trust fall these days. 😂

This will also prompt (i.e. kick my ass) into getting my thoughts written out on the same feelings that you describe. I've got something I wrote months ago that overlaps. I'll work on that some today and see what comes up.

Looking forward to hearing from you. 🙂

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Dre Beltrami's avatar

DO IT!!! I want to read it! Consider this your ass kick. 🫶

DM coming...

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