Have you heard anyone actually say, “Email is dead?“
I mean, I’ve heard 1,000,000,004 people say it’s not dead, but who said it was in the first place?
I have a theory.
OK, so I might be a tad bit of a conspiracist.
Not the full-blown kind you have to worry about. I know the planet is round, and the Holocaust most definitely happened, but my government has definitely buried things + lied to its people countless times, so of course, I believe the “in cahoots” runs deep in places of immense power.
Soooooo, I have to wonder if back in 2005, some poor sap on LinkedIn wrote a post about how he thought email was going to die off with the onslaught of new technology coming, and the capitalist top figures spearheading what we now know as the ‘online business industry’ today, took that shit and ran with it. They probably used this sucker as a scapegoat and then buried him so deep we’d never be able to find the origin.
It’s the perfect ‘news story’ to keep alive.
Why?
So they can control the narrative around how it’s used.
Left to our own devices, we might figure out how to use it to make money without giving them ‘their cut’, like they’re some modern day digital Mafia protection.
If they can’t create, agitate, and capitalize on a bottomless pit of problems for us to buy our way out of, their business crumbles.
It’s just facts.
Email (especially newsletters) doesn’t feed the capitalist system in the same way that everything else that’s been shoved down our throat does.
Facebook
Instagram
TikTok
YouTube
LinkedIn
X
Pinterest
These platforms were built off of our backs by design, and part of that design included actively keeping us worried that email might take its final breaths at any moment.
THE INDOCTRINATION = Make sure you have 32 other ways you’re putting yourself out there, and you’ll be ahead of everyone else! We’ll teach you how to do it all! We’ll even show you how to make email work… because if you do everything we tell you, it’ll never die! We have all the 6-figure secrets, that’s why it’s easy for us.
THE TRUTH: They can’t monetize our inbox.
They can’t shut our email or inbox down at the discretion of their shitty bots, who only get it right 1/16th of the time.
They can’t force their way into our inbox.
They can’t control what we do + don’t allow in our inbox.
They can’t control who gets priority in our inbox.
They can’t control where something goes in our inbox.
They can’t pillage the data from our inbox.
They can’t target the people who let us into their inbox.
They can’t commoditize us or our kindreds in the same ways they can on every other platform available.
I think that’s why it’s always been billed as “list building.”
It’s about the herd, not the heart.
It’s about the data, content overload, and squeezing every dollar out of every lead.
Why isn’t it called relationship building? Isn’t that what we’re actually building? Isn’t the list accruing?
Why don’t we brag about how many relationships we’ve formed? Or how many people we’ve made feel (more) whole?
Why is it considered ‘pitiful’ to have anything less than 5,000, let alone 500, HUMAN BEINGS opening + reading your emails? I mean, when in our real lives are more than 4 people listening to what we’re saying??!
Why has humanity been methodically stripped out of our inboxes, not only by coining terms like “list building” and “customer avatar,” but also by turning this sacred, personal space into an extension of the machine that is social media?
Could it be because it’s better for them, if we stay disconnected, unsatisfied, and in our respective corners of the world silently struggling in shame + lost in self-doubt without each other… because that gives them the perfect chance to offer us their magic pill at the very moment desperation strikes midnight?
It’s no accident that we’ve been taught to treat our inboxes the way we do.
They don’t want us to know that hidden in our inboxes are all the YOU-shaped lessons we need to learn to make money, very easily, for the rest of our lives… because easy for us means less sales for them.
They don’t want us to know that there’s really only two skills we need to make the money we want + live the life we crave… because most of them don’t know how to do these two things. I double dog dare you to guess what they are?
They don’t want us to know that feeding the content monster, turning everything into a transaction, and making claims that are so downright dishonest you feel like shriveling up in a ball and hibernating under your blankets for 234 sleeps is optional… because we wouldn’t buy their shit if we knew the truth.
They don’t want us to know that they came up with BS like free opt-ins to install critical thinking Trojan-horses into our inboxes…because inbox access is flat out more valuable than every other platform. They’re not going to get cut out of the deal. I mean, come on, what other industry is expected to give straight-up IP (intellectual property) as the cost of doing business?
They don’t want us to know that we can make better (more profitable) decisions by looking within ourselves rather than listening to their input, frameworks, and strategies… because our (profitable) decisions don’t make them wealthier.
They don’t want us to know that we’ll never be able to catch up to them (as far as their idea of success goes)... because we weren’t lucky enough or whole enough to prance around in a g-string and ride the early internet era of single dudes deciding how it’s gonna be done.
They don’t want us to know that OUR VERSION of success is possible… because it’s not a profitable version for them.
Email has never so much as had a cold, let alone been close to its deathbed, but it has been infected by a toxic approach that doesn’t serve us.
If we embrace that, things instantly start to feel better + happen easier.
Applying employee-backed guru logic to our emails (let alone our businesses) is what’s making the inbox feel so empty + unrewarding, not to mention like it’s a giant void that just sucks us dry.
We’re expecting big-box consultants to show us how to run mom + pop shops that are there for the community! Of course, they’re going to show us how to dehumanize things in the name of profit + efficiency.
The inbox isn’t the problem, it’s the way we’re treating it, that is.
When you’re email marketing, it feels like flinging flyers at people on the Vegas strip because it’s a numbers game (um, hello, you’re building a list, get the fucking tools out). You’re going to need thousands of people to find enough broken, desperate souls to make the ‘build’ worthwhile.
When you’re running a paid community/newsletter business, spending the part-time hours you want on your entrepreneurial endeavor, savoring the full-time hours you’re able to enjoy life, it feels like being the hometown hot dog cart hero to your community because it’s a relationship game. There are NO TOOLS NEEDED! Nothing to build. Nothing to accrue. There’s just fabulously flawed human beings, like you, who are craving the same shit and who are insanely inspired by how dope your fucking ‘dawgs’ are.
We’re going to find the success we want in our inboxes.
💌 It’s gonna happen when we practice being true to who we are in every micro decision we make - and those are the only decisions WE need to make.
💌 It’s gonna happen when openly explore our values + belief system, and make it ok to not have all the answers - confused has never been so refreshing.
💌 It’s gonna happen when we speak our truths so freely that they inspire our kindreds to come out of the shadows and say, “me too!”
💌 It’s gonna happen when we say the things we wanna say the most, and realize that people just like us want to hear the same shit.
💌 It’s gonna happen when we feel safe enough to experiment with our messaging without worrying about being trolled or canceled - we can’t keep trying to work that shit out on our sales pages + or out in the wild, wild west of social media.
💌 It’s gonna happen when we get off the content hamster wheel, stop panic creating, and lean into income streams that don’t require endless hours of unpaid work.
💌 It’s going to happen when we prove to ourselves that we can show up, pour our thoughts, rants, and ideas out, exactly as we are at that moment, and that it’s all enough. MORE than enough.
Don’t give up on your inbox; give up on the way you’ve been taught to use it! Promise me, ok?
And hey, thanks for letting me into your inbox! I promise I’ll never to treat it or YOU like an ATM. This new cart-sized community + newsletter I’m creating is here to remind us that the guru logic is garbage, so we can get everything we want — impact, purpose, money, and community — doing ONE ordinary AF thing we love.
Can you do me a huge favor? I’m not above groveling.
Will you forward this “call out” to a friend (if you’re on email) or restack it (if you’re on Substack)? The ripples it would send out would make a difference for a lot of people, myself included! 🌭
To treating our inboxes like they’re gathering spaces rather than tools,
Thanks for the love + the restack, Mark!! It really was. This stuff has been festering in my thoughts for a long time, and now that I’m making myself at home on Substack… it’s all ready to spill out. 🌭
If I didn't adore you already, Dre, that would have done it.
Slam dunk.
Here's the beautiful thing that happened after reading this.
...I didn't throw my hands up in the air or anything.
The first time, I laugh so hard, I almost choked on my hot coffee.
By the time I went through it six times, I sat back in my chair, took a deeeeeep breath, and let all the stress fall off my shoulders with a soft sigh and "Yeahhhhh. I get it. This is going to be a beautiful experience."
I wish I could package you in one of those life-sized “action figure boxes” that have the clear front… so I could show the world what a real-deal-Holyfield kindred really looks like.
Dre, this is hands down the most compelling theory I’ve ever heard about email and why we’ve been taught to cringe at our inboxes. You’re absolutely right—email isn’t the problem. It’s the icky, impersonal, soulless way we’ve been conditioned to use it that has made it feel like a void instead of a space for true connection.
I’ve always wanted to use email as a way to build relationships, not just tick off a sales funnel box. But the transactional, list-building nonsense that’s been shoved down our throats made me lose interest in email marketing for a long time. The way we’re taught to sell feels gross because it strips away humanity, and that’s what makes me cringe—just like you said.
At the heart of it, all I’ve ever wanted is to connect with people authentically, to really make a difference, and still be able to take care of my family, my health, and my life. It’s about time freedom, living fully, and having meaningful impact—not chasing some guru-approved formula that treats people like numbers on a list. Your post reminds me that there IS a way to show up fully, be ourselves, and still thrive, and it has nothing to do with the game they’ve been playing.
I’m with you on treating our inboxes as gathering spaces, and I want my work, whether in person or via email, to reflect that. It’s about true connection, not manipulation. That’s where I want to keep my focus moving forward.
This is exactly what I’ve been leaning into in my business too—helping moms reclaim their health and lives by making themselves a priority, without all the BS. And when I show up in their inbox, I want it to feel like we’re sitting down for cafecito (tea for me) and real talk, not another pitch they have to dodge. Your hot dog cart is exactly what I’m ready to transform my current structure into—a business that’s simple, impactful, and done with integrity.
Thank you for this powerful reminder that we don’t have to play their game to win. I’m all in.
Hear Hear, I never took email marketing seriously until now. I am in charge, the chairwoman and High Priestess of my email list and all the amazing people who signed up. It is refreshing.
Wow Dre, I bet that was cathartic! Great post & call out. Restocked, my pleasure!
Thanks for the love + the restack, Mark!! It really was. This stuff has been festering in my thoughts for a long time, and now that I’m making myself at home on Substack… it’s all ready to spill out. 🌭
Water coolers of the digital age is what I like to call inboxes 📥
I’m more of a watering hole kinda girl but I love it! 🤣
[still shaking head]
Six times I read this.
Been revamping my About page from what I learned.
If I didn't adore you already, Dre, that would have done it.
Slam dunk.
Here's the beautiful thing that happened after reading this.
...I didn't throw my hands up in the air or anything.
The first time, I laugh so hard, I almost choked on my hot coffee.
By the time I went through it six times, I sat back in my chair, took a deeeeeep breath, and let all the stress fall off my shoulders with a soft sigh and "Yeahhhhh. I get it. This is going to be a beautiful experience."
Thank you, Dre.
I wish I could package you in one of those life-sized “action figure boxes” that have the clear front… so I could show the world what a real-deal-Holyfield kindred really looks like.
You get me like french fries get ranch. 🫶
I can't believe how good this is. I was nodding along like "Yep, I've always suspected this, I just needed Dre to say it out loud to have it LAND."
I feel like a gold medal gymnast with this landing!! It's a rant I've been sitting on for a WHILE, and it felt so damn good to let it pour out. ❤️
You give me hope Dre. My guess at the two skills are Relationship and writing skills?
NAILED IT, my friend!! 😆
for real?
For real! If you can sling your words + connect with people in real ways, the rest is logistics.
Its a good thing I have technology to help me with my words. I wouldn't consider myself a word slinger like yourself. :D
Pew, pew, pew 😆 It’s an art form that ebbs + flows. Some days words are not my friends.
Very nice! I think we have a lot in common. 😉
Kindred… is that you?? 🤣
Dre, this is hands down the most compelling theory I’ve ever heard about email and why we’ve been taught to cringe at our inboxes. You’re absolutely right—email isn’t the problem. It’s the icky, impersonal, soulless way we’ve been conditioned to use it that has made it feel like a void instead of a space for true connection.
I’ve always wanted to use email as a way to build relationships, not just tick off a sales funnel box. But the transactional, list-building nonsense that’s been shoved down our throats made me lose interest in email marketing for a long time. The way we’re taught to sell feels gross because it strips away humanity, and that’s what makes me cringe—just like you said.
At the heart of it, all I’ve ever wanted is to connect with people authentically, to really make a difference, and still be able to take care of my family, my health, and my life. It’s about time freedom, living fully, and having meaningful impact—not chasing some guru-approved formula that treats people like numbers on a list. Your post reminds me that there IS a way to show up fully, be ourselves, and still thrive, and it has nothing to do with the game they’ve been playing.
I’m with you on treating our inboxes as gathering spaces, and I want my work, whether in person or via email, to reflect that. It’s about true connection, not manipulation. That’s where I want to keep my focus moving forward.
This is exactly what I’ve been leaning into in my business too—helping moms reclaim their health and lives by making themselves a priority, without all the BS. And when I show up in their inbox, I want it to feel like we’re sitting down for cafecito (tea for me) and real talk, not another pitch they have to dodge. Your hot dog cart is exactly what I’m ready to transform my current structure into—a business that’s simple, impactful, and done with integrity.
Thank you for this powerful reminder that we don’t have to play their game to win. I’m all in.
❤️Kristie
Right?! Fuck the game. We don't have to play.
I'm soooo with you... you know this! If it's fake or transactional, I'm out. Period. I don't need to explain it anymore than that.
We're a different breed (so are our kindreds), and it's a beautiful thing. I can't wait to do this the hot dog cart way side-by-side with you!!!!
Hear Hear, I never took email marketing seriously until now. I am in charge, the chairwoman and High Priestess of my email list and all the amazing people who signed up. It is refreshing.
Yeeessss, QUEEN!! Show ‘em how us ooey-gooey humans do it!!
I loved this post so much, Dre! I’m now convinced my inbox is secretly plotting world domination—guess I'll let it! 🤭