I'm still reading, but when I saw this... "I’m a card-carrying, placard-posting, invite-dodging introvert (an INFJ, the rarest personality type at only 2% of us on the planet) who loves, and I mean loooooves, to watch the social dynamics and interpersonal interactions in situations where total strangers are put together in a “one degree of separation” way (they all know the guest(s) of honor)."
...I sat back and sighed.
"Dre is my loveable Jiminey Cricket who showed up when I hit rock bottom...unknown to anyone around me...to show me I'm not hopeless, or useless, and that all the fighting to keep from making a permanent choice to a temporary solution has been worth it.
I'd still be hiding under the cover if it weren't for all the support I get from kindreds like YOU, dude! Really, I get bravery from knowing that people I care about need me to call this shit out. 🫶
Dre, I find the framework in this article interesting, yet it misses a fundamental aspect of connection. There’s a significant difference between the simple act of “relating” to someone and finding a truly enriching, mutual relationship. Yes, shared experiences or values can create initial bonds, but that doesn’t mean these connections are fulfilling or genuinely nourishing.
In my experience, I've had connections that were just that—connections. They were often maintained out of habit or convenience, but they didn’t bring any real depth, growth, or a sense of mutual appreciation. At some point, I realized that these relationships, while perhaps pleasant distractions, weren’t worth holding onto simply for the sake of having them. I learned that I’d rather be socially isolated for a while than settle for connections that aren’t on the same wavelength, that aren’t genuinely fulfilling.
Real, transformative connection is more than just a shared circumstance or interest. It’s a resonance—a kind of mutual respect, understanding, and appreciation that goes beyond the superficial. And sometimes, it’s worth waiting for that kind of connection, even if it means letting go of what simply fills space.
Agreed. Relatability isn't the end all, be all of deep connections, it's just a POINT of connection that can foster deep relationships. That's why I started off this lesson by demonstrating how "surface level" it can be, at events like weddings + baby showers. This isn't meant to be an exhaustive framework for how to build transformative connections... it's just a small part of the gargantuan picture that is a shared human experience. Humans are way too complex to shove into any one framework or simplify down to any one factor when it comes to who we resonate most with.
Here's to knowing when to lean into these starting points + when to let them be what they are! 🌭
Absolutely, Dre! Relatability is a doorway, and it’s far from the whole journey of building deep, transformative connections. I appreciate how you framed it now as just one element within the vastness of shared human experience. Humans are so beautifully complex, and knowing when to lean into those initial connections and when to let them evolve naturally feels like a skill in itself. Here’s to embracing the nuance in how we connect! 🌱
Powerful as always, and brought up questions. Would this be what goes in your one-sentence bio as the flag you’re waving? What if the rarest thing in each category isn’t actually what you want to attract in kindred, or doesn’t relate to the kind of writing you want to do?
It can definitely be a nugget you include in your bio + your BIG IDEA as a whole. It should be a tidbit you drop everywhere.
I guess I would ask specifics in terms of the rarest thing not being something you want to attract. Why not? Most of the rarest commonalities won't have shit to do with your actual work, and that's ok. This isn't about the work or "job" you're hired to do... it's about YOU + them as humans.
If you want to DM me specifics rather than share them here, feel free!
The rare challenges (there are several) matter, and inform my work, but they’re the things I want to be unshakled from! Sometimes I write to explore them, but mostly I write get away from them. I may be having a hard time identifying rare things that aren’t kinda awful.
Sit with this. NONE of the human stuff I teach is figured out over a single lesson or framework. Some of this stuff takes more human experiences and conversation with ourselves and our kindreds to figure out. Things will evolve, promise! 🫶
I'm still reading, but when I saw this... "I’m a card-carrying, placard-posting, invite-dodging introvert (an INFJ, the rarest personality type at only 2% of us on the planet) who loves, and I mean loooooves, to watch the social dynamics and interpersonal interactions in situations where total strangers are put together in a “one degree of separation” way (they all know the guest(s) of honor)."
...I sat back and sighed.
"Dre is my loveable Jiminey Cricket who showed up when I hit rock bottom...unknown to anyone around me...to show me I'm not hopeless, or useless, and that all the fighting to keep from making a permanent choice to a temporary solution has been worth it.
[Don't worry, I'm okay...]
Thank you for showing up, Dre.
...more than you know.
I'd still be hiding under the cover if it weren't for all the support I get from kindreds like YOU, dude! Really, I get bravery from knowing that people I care about need me to call this shit out. 🫶
Dre, I find the framework in this article interesting, yet it misses a fundamental aspect of connection. There’s a significant difference between the simple act of “relating” to someone and finding a truly enriching, mutual relationship. Yes, shared experiences or values can create initial bonds, but that doesn’t mean these connections are fulfilling or genuinely nourishing.
In my experience, I've had connections that were just that—connections. They were often maintained out of habit or convenience, but they didn’t bring any real depth, growth, or a sense of mutual appreciation. At some point, I realized that these relationships, while perhaps pleasant distractions, weren’t worth holding onto simply for the sake of having them. I learned that I’d rather be socially isolated for a while than settle for connections that aren’t on the same wavelength, that aren’t genuinely fulfilling.
Real, transformative connection is more than just a shared circumstance or interest. It’s a resonance—a kind of mutual respect, understanding, and appreciation that goes beyond the superficial. And sometimes, it’s worth waiting for that kind of connection, even if it means letting go of what simply fills space.
Agreed. Relatability isn't the end all, be all of deep connections, it's just a POINT of connection that can foster deep relationships. That's why I started off this lesson by demonstrating how "surface level" it can be, at events like weddings + baby showers. This isn't meant to be an exhaustive framework for how to build transformative connections... it's just a small part of the gargantuan picture that is a shared human experience. Humans are way too complex to shove into any one framework or simplify down to any one factor when it comes to who we resonate most with.
Here's to knowing when to lean into these starting points + when to let them be what they are! 🌭
Absolutely, Dre! Relatability is a doorway, and it’s far from the whole journey of building deep, transformative connections. I appreciate how you framed it now as just one element within the vastness of shared human experience. Humans are so beautifully complex, and knowing when to lean into those initial connections and when to let them evolve naturally feels like a skill in itself. Here’s to embracing the nuance in how we connect! 🌱
Here, here!! 🌭
Here's to 🌭 ⛓️
Powerful as always, and brought up questions. Would this be what goes in your one-sentence bio as the flag you’re waving? What if the rarest thing in each category isn’t actually what you want to attract in kindred, or doesn’t relate to the kind of writing you want to do?
It can definitely be a nugget you include in your bio + your BIG IDEA as a whole. It should be a tidbit you drop everywhere.
I guess I would ask specifics in terms of the rarest thing not being something you want to attract. Why not? Most of the rarest commonalities won't have shit to do with your actual work, and that's ok. This isn't about the work or "job" you're hired to do... it's about YOU + them as humans.
If you want to DM me specifics rather than share them here, feel free!
The rare challenges (there are several) matter, and inform my work, but they’re the things I want to be unshakled from! Sometimes I write to explore them, but mostly I write get away from them. I may be having a hard time identifying rare things that aren’t kinda awful.
I will think about this.
Sit with this. NONE of the human stuff I teach is figured out over a single lesson or framework. Some of this stuff takes more human experiences and conversation with ourselves and our kindreds to figure out. Things will evolve, promise! 🫶
Thank you. Planning to spend Mercury Retrograde diving into this
Ohhh, when is that happening??
Nov 25 into December. I’m thinking of doing a ‘practical astrology for writers’ bit. Helps me metaphorically not plan a picnic during a hurricane.